What if the person you are trying so hard to become is part of what is making you unhappy? Contemporary psychology and centuries-old Eastern traditions share a striking idea: our relationship with ourselves plays a fundamental role in how we suffer.

But what if changing who we are isn't the answer? What if, instead, we need to loosen our attachment to the idea of a fixed self altogether? In an increasingly individualistic world, we are encouraged to define ourselves: through our achievements, relationships, appearance, beliefs, careers and countless other markers of identity. Self-Obsession asks whether this relentless focus on who we are - and who we think we should be - may actually be contributing to our anxiety, dissatisfaction and psychological distress.

In Part One, Tom explores how our sense of self is constructed, why we become so attached to it, and how attempts to protect and strengthen our identities can inadvertently create suffering. Drawing together contemporary psychology, evolutionary science and Eastern philosophy, he examines why self-obsession is such a powerful feature of the human condition.

In Part Two, the focus shifts from understanding to change. Drawing on psychological therapies alongside Buddhist and Taoist ideas, Tom explores practical ways of loosening our attachment to identity, responding differently to difficult thoughts and emotions, and becoming more engaged with life beyond ourselves.

Self-Obsession offers an alternative to the endless project of trying to perfect yourself: perhaps greater freedom comes not from building a better self, but from needing the self a little less.